Dating Over 40: Awesome Advice for Midlife Singles

Ignore the statistics showing the infinitesimal chance of you actually finding a partner at your age!

Lucky you! dating over 40—no, I'm serious! read on... For whatever reason: never married, death, or heartbreak, you're back on the dating scene, or maybe you never left, but now you're seeking a better way to date at midlife. You're coming into this with life experience under your belt, hopefully more self-aware and confident than when you were younger.

In your early dating years, you were less experienced and likely had unrealistic expectations of what partnered life would be like. By midlife, you've experienced joys and sorrows, different kinds of relationships—maybe you've traveled the world, raised a family, have a well-established career—maybe it's even slowing down, you're possibly better off financially. Your experiences and the wisdom and knowledge you've acquired will serve you well in your quest to meet someone special, but there are some possible disadvantages too.

While your past experiences and relationships may have given you insight into your self and others, the bumps along the road may have left you pessimistic, overly-cautious, and afraid of trusting and getting close to someone again. At times you may feel like you're better off staying single, and while this is an option, why not embrace the wisdom life's experiences have given you, and learn how to meet the type of person who's right for you.

Avoid the temptation of rushing into a new relationship immediately after one ends. Take time to get your bearings and re-establish your center. Maybe you've been so busy working and/or taking care of others for the past several decades, you haven't recently thought about what energizes you and brings you happiness, relaxation, health, wellness, fun, and fulfillment. And, just as important, what irritates you, drains your energy, or scares and upsets you? Take time to sit and ponder, and answer these important questions for yourself.

You don't have to sit home during this introspective time of figuring out who you are and what you want—choose something you'd like to learn and/or improve: get in better shape, join a gym, try a fitness class, learn bonsai gardening, Spanish, or explore things you've always wondered about and wanted to try. You may even make some new and interesting friends while doing something you love!

Before you enter the dating arena, have an idea of the qualities a person who might be a good fit for you will likely possess: intelligence, kindness, a sense of adventure, honesty, a spiritual or religious connection? What are some dealbreakers for you, and where do you see yourself willing and able to compromise? What sort of lifestyle do you envision with this person? Start a mental or written list or journal, and don't be afraid to adjust it as you start meeting new people and learn more about yourself.

Dating over 40 doesn't have to be daunting, and it offers you an excellent opportunity to learn about yourself and find someone wonderful to share it all with. Ignore the statistics showing the infinitesimal chance of you actually finding a partner at your age! There are plenty of people just like you hoping to share their lives with, well... maybe someone just like you!

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